I love my hubby so much?

Hi sounds familiar yes i have had the same experience,and you sound like i did, but i was also angry could not tell you why I knew i loved him very much but could not help having a go, i to knew it was wrong but could not stop my self it was as if i was pushing him to go away but then did not want it.Well i decided to get some help as i was on a self destruct mission and could not stop myself so i went to the doctors who said i was a little depressed, which i thought was rubbish she gave me some tablets for stress and after 10 days i felt better and was able to realise what i was doing, but even then it took me a while to settle as i still thought it was all his fault, after all the upsets we are now a little better as i am much calmer and don't take every thing he say as a dig at me i know it is hard but he sounds like he loves you a lot or he would have been off long ago please don't give up it will work out i wish you lots of peace and happiness which will come xx